THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

THE BATES MOTEL VAULT

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[It's early morning. Chuck is standing at the side of the road by the Fairlawns
 marina complex. His mobile phone rings]

Chuck: Hello, Chuck Foster speaking.

[Theme tune plays and fades out]

Chuck: No I don't want any double glazing. Now goodbye!

[Michelle's car pulls up. She gets out]

Chuck: Why do you want to see me? 
Michelle: Where's Tina?
Chuck: She's gone. She left two weeks ago.
Michelle: Who's in charge of Bates now?
Chuck: Control of Tina's shares have gone to Marcus. He's now in sole charge.
Michelle: Has Tina left a contact address?
Chuck: No. All she sent was a letter giving the relevant powers to Marcus.
Michelle: Interesting.
Chuck: Is that what you wanted to know? I come out here at 6am and that's it.
Michelle: Yes, but I'll remember you for it.

[Michelle jumps in her car and drives off]

Chuck: Remember me? What does she mean.

[Marcus steps out of the trees]

Marcus: What does she mean indeed. I smell treachery.
Chuck: No, it's my aftershave. It's called Ozone Slayer.
Marcus: You've been selling the secrets of Bates to Michelle!
Chuck: No!
Marcus: Report to my office at 9am!
Chuck: Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!

[Time passes. It's now 9am. A bright yellow Ford Capri pulls into the
 carpark. 1970's music can he heard blasting from the 8 track stereo
 system. In reception Alison is on the phone.]

Alison: Yes, you're watching The Great Escape on the TV, and you've seen our
        chef? Yes I know it's an obscure joke which nobody will get, but our
        scriptwriters are desperate. Thank you Sir, goodbye.

[A strange looking man enters reception. He walks over to the desk]

Man: Hello darlin', fancy a good time.
Alison: Can I help you?
Man: I'm Dave, my friends call me Dave. I'm going to be working in security.
Alison: But we already have a Dave in security.
David: Then call me David.
Alison: DON'T CONFUSE ME!

[In the office]

Marcus: What the hell were you doing with her?
Chuck: She wanted to know where Tina was.
Marcus: And you told her?
Chuck: Yes.
Marcus: And what else did you tell her I wonder?
Chuck: Nothing.
Marcus: I don't believe you!
Chuck: I tell you that I said nothing!
Marcus: Then I'll have to believe you. But if I catch you at it again you will
        be out!

[The intercom buzzes]

Marcus: Yes.
Alison [over the intercom]: There's some 70's throwback in reception to see you.
Marcus: Well tell Alden that I don't want to see him.
Alison [over the intercom]: No, it's a Dave McIntee to see you.
Marcus: Ah, the new security assistant. Send him in.
Chuck: Shall I stay?
Marcus: Yes, you may be of enormous help.

[The door opens, David walks in]

Marcus: Ah you must be the new security assistant. Do sit down.

[At Fairlawns in the main office]

Michelle: So how the plans for the grand opening going?
Stephen: Fine. Despite the fact that we've been open for two months.
Michelle: Yes, but the final building work has just finished.
Stephen: What we need is a famous celebrity to formally open the place, 
         and a big party.
Michelle: But what famous celebrity can we get to open us.
Stephen: Well I'm a famous international soap star.
Michelle: Er yes.
Stephen: And we'll invite everybody.
Michelle: Everybody? 
Stephen: Yes, we have to show off how much better we are than the Bates Motel.
Michelle: That won't be difficult.
Stephen: I'm sure we can arrange something for the next episode.
Michelle: Seen Alden?
Stephen: No.
Michelle: Good. I've arranged a meeting with Marcus at 2PM. He's coming here.
          Make sure that Alden is amused elsewhere.
Stephen: Will do.

[Back at Bates in the office, Marcus is talking to David McIntee]

David: So then I did three years on the oil rigs. That's how I got my nickname.
Marcus [almost falling asleep]: Eh, what? Oh, er, yes.
David: Dangermouse.
Marcus: Pardon?
David: I said Dangermouse.
Marcus: Oh. Right. Yes well go along and see Dave in security.
David: Oh, OK.

[David leaves the room. Marcus turns to Chuck]

Marcus: Well what did you make of that?
Chuck: Keep your eye on him. He looks shifty.
Marcus: Just because he dresses as if he were in 1977, it doesn't mean
        that he's shifty. Anyway, I've got meeting later on. You'll be
        in charge in my absence.
Chuck: Excellent. [laughs madly]

[At Fairlawns Stephen walks into the main office]

Stephen: It's no good, I can't find Alden.
Michelle: If you can't find Alden then he could burst in on my meeting!
Stephen: But can't you just lock the door.
Michelle: No. You'll simply have to find Alden and then keep him out of   
          my way.

[Alden bursts into the office]

Alden: Have you seen a bottle of pills?
Michelle: You mean the ones here? The one's labelled "Big Love Enhancers"?
Alden: Er, um, yes.
Stephen: Could you come outside and help me erect a mast on a boat? I need
         a hand as we're understaffed today.
Alden: Pardon?
Stephen: WILL YOU HELP ME GET IT UP OUTSIDE!
Alden: You've got a problem as well? Well I do have these magazin...
Stephen: No! The mast on the boat! We need to get it up!
Alden: Oh, OK.
Stephen: I'll see you at the quayside.

[Stephen leaves the room]

Michelle: You're acting very strangely.
Alden: Me, acting strangely? 
Michelle: It must be those pills.
Alden: Nonsense.
Michelle: Ah, I get it. You're trying to attract the attention of your wife.

[Alden doesn't answer]

Michelle: But what does she have that you want?

[Alden still doesn't answer]

Michelle: And why do you have flowers in your lapel.
Alden: That's perfectly normal.
Michelle: And flowers in your hair?
Alden: Er, Stephen wants me outside to help him. Goodbye.

[Alden leaves]

Michelle: He's up to something, and I intend to find out what it is.


[Meanwhile Stephen is at the Fairlawns quayside. The Brigadier approaches]

Stephen: Ah Brigadier, how you getting along here at Fairlawns?
Brigadier: Splendid what. No bally bocsh spoiling the place.
Stephen: Oh, right.
Brigadier: Although I'm told that the entire place is crawling with commies.
Stephen: There are no communists at Fairlawns. They couldn't afford our rates.
Brigadier: Tricky blighters. I'm sure they are hiding somewhere. They may be 
           watching us now!


[Meanwhile, back at the Bates Motel. David knocks on the door of security]

Dave [chanting] : There's somebody at the door! There's somebody at the door..

[The door opens]

David: Hello, I'm your new assistant.
Dave: What's your name.
David: My name is David. But when I worked on the oil rigs my friends called me
       Dangermouse.
Dave: Well you're not on the rigs now.
David: I've got some top notch car stereos in the boot on my car. Top of the range
       only 25 quid.
Dave: I don't want a car stereo.
David: 20 quid for cash.
Dave: No!
David: I can see you drive a hard bargain. 17.50 and that's my final offer.
Dave: No! No! No! I don't want your dodgy car stereos!

[In the resturant at Bates. Alison enters. Chuck is writing menus]

Alison: Have you seen Marcus. There's a phone call for him.
Chuck: He went out. I'm in charge in his absence.
Alison: Oh.
Chuck: Any word from Dai?
Alison: No. Oh, and the guest in room 305 is complaining.
Chuck: I'll deal with it.

[Alison leaves. Chuck follows and goes to the guests room. He knocks on the
 door. The door opens. It's Soldeed]

Soldeed: I wish to complain!
Chuck: What about?

[Soldeed walks over to the window]

Soldeed: You claim there is a sea view from this window. 
Chuck: Yes, there is a view of the sea.
Soldeed: I can barely see it! You will anger the mighty Nimon!
Chuck: Look, there's the sea. It's over there, between the land and the sky!
Soldeed: You anger me! You shall incur the wrath of the mighty Nimon!
Chuck: Yes, this mighty Nimon of which we keep hearing. Does he actually exist!
Soldeed: Of course the Nimon exists! I shall prove it.

[Soldeed runs from the room]

Chuck: Nutter. Why can't we have normal guests.

[In the main office at Fairlawns, Michelle is reading a report. The phone rings]

Michelle: Hello. Yes, show him in.

[The door opens, Marcus enters]

Michelle: I have a proposition for you.
Marcus: Do tell.
Michelle: What would you say to lots of money.
Marcus: I'd say what's the catch.
Michelle: There is no catch.
Marcus: Then how do I get the money.
Michelle: You mean how do WE get the money.
Marcus: We?
Michelle: I provide the expertise. You provide the land.
Marcus: You still haven't stated what you want.
Michelle: Oil. And the Bates Motel is sitting on top of it. Or at least that's
          what my initial survey shows.
Marcus: So that's what those chaps were doing on the road outside.
Michelle: Naturally we'll need to survey further.
Marcus: Nobody must know about this. That oil is all min... I mean ours.
        Anyway, I'll have to think about it. Get the survey done and I'll examine
        the results.

[Marcus gets up, and leaves the room. Outside Alden is hindering Stephen]

Stephen: Will you help me please?
Alden: Peace man.
Stephen: Piece of what?
Alden: No, peace.
Stephen: You are being no help what-so-ever! What's got into you today!

[Alden wanders off, jumps in a boat and speeds off]

Stephen: What's he up to now? Oh well, at least he's out of the way.

[Marcus walks up]

Marcus: Ah Stephen, so how are you getting on then?
Stephen: Fine. It's nice to be working in the open air.
Marcus: Well enjoy it while you can. I shall look forward to running this place.

[Marcus walks off laughing. Meanwhile back at Bates in the kitchens]

Pete: I've had enough of this! I'm going on strike!

[Chuck enters]

Chuck: Did you say something?
Pete: I'm going on strike laddie! The conditions here are terrible.
Chuck: Are you sure?
Pete: I'm striking!
Chuck: You're not going on strike. You're fired!
Pete: Och, you donne have the authority to do that!
Chuck: I have every authority! Pack your things and get out!

[The camera zooms in on Pete's shocked face. Meanwhile at Fairlawns
 Stephen enters the office in a hurry]

Stephen: You seen this?

[Stephen hands Michelle a newspaper. Michelle starts reading aloud]

Michelle: Dai Lewis appointed head of global hotel chain.
Stephen: He works at Bates!
Michelle: Worked. He worked at Bates. He's now head of the biggest hotel chain in
          the world.
Stephen: But that's ridiculous. I was only speaking to him a month ago.
Michelle: Well he must have moved on.
Stephen: Read some more of the article.
Michelle [reading]: Mr Lewis says that he aims to consolidate his companies position
                    by aiming to expand into the Motel business. Mr Lewis also 
                    commented that he wishes to destroy the people who held him
                    back for so long.
Stephen: Destroy the people who held him back? That can only mean one thing.
Michelle: I think the Bates Motel is in for a very rough ride.

[Alden bursts in.]

Alden: I've got it! I'm going to start a colony of love on the Isle of Wight!

[Theme tune fades in]

And Introducing:
Michelle Nire

Marcus Durham
David Lewis
Dave Stone
Aidan Folkes

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THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

THE BATES MOTEL VAULT