Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel, the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings.

There's always some manic goings on in the best websoap around, Bates Motel, the soap that makes Triangle look like Dallas.

If you want to learn more about the mad characters then click here. Otherwise read on.....

Or if you want to catch up on seasons one and two then you'd better visit The Bates Motel Vault.

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Next Episode on Saturday 22nd of May

Season 3 Episode 20

Written by Marcus Durham

Continuity Announcer: Now on Television Midlands we take a visit to the Bates
                      Motel.

Theme tune fades in

[It's morning in the office of the Bates Motel, Tina, Marcus and Alden are 
 assembled]

Tina: How can we compete with Fairlawns? They are going to undercut our prices
      and drive us out of business.
Alden: We just undercut them and compete!
Marcus: Why bother? We know the soap ends in a few weeks anyway. Sit back and relax.
Tina: But....
Marcus: If we fight, we'll destroy this Motel.
Alden: No, I don't think so.
Marcus: If we fight like animals, we'll die like animals!
Tina: Er, right.

[In Charles office at Fairlawns there is a knock at the door]

Charles: Enter.

[Michelle enters]

Charles: Hello, I'm Charles Daniels. You must be Michelle Nire. Please
         do sit down.

[Michelle sits]

Michelle: You said you wanted to see me.
Charles: Yes. I want you to get you to sound out an idea with you.
Michelle: Oh?
Charles: I know that you once ran this place, and that you may still be bitter
         about the way you were removed.
Michelle: Oh hell no, this is soap opera. We've conveniently forgotten about 
          the entire thing.
Charles: Ah, excellent. Well as you know Fairlawns is now expanding, and I 
         am beginning to think we need a deputy manager. The money would be
         good, company car and executive benefits. 

[Charles starts walking around the office]

Michelle: Well, if the business is growing.
Charles: In anycase, would you like to come and work here in that capacity.
Michelle: But I've just been employed at Bates.
Charles: Believe me, within a month there won't be a Bates Motel. They'll
         be finished. Crushed beneath the weight of my mighty business.
         Of course, should the strategy fail then I'll sack Trina because
         I like making scapegoats.
Michelle: Sounds interesting. I always did like power. And a car will
          come in handy, I have to go to work with that interminable 
          Mariane. I am better than all of them!
Charles: Excellent.
Michelle: But how can I get out of my contract with them?
Charles: Simple, you get yourself sacked!

[Meanwhile in an adjacent office]

Trina: Boo hoo, they killed Chuck. The bast......

[The phone rings]

Trina: Hello, Fairlawns. The South Coasts premiere hotel and marina complex.
       We are not located in the West Midlands unlike the Bates Motel 
       which is located only 5 minutes away. Rates start at �50 a night,
       Trina speaking............. Sorry, I believe you have the wrong
       number.

[Trina puts the phone down. In the carpark of the Bates Motel Dai is
 sweeping up. A car pulls into the carpark, it's Dangermouse in his
 Ford Capri. A Bay City Rollers song blares from it's open windows.
 He jumps out of the car.]

Dangermouse: How wonderful it is to be here on this lovely Sunny day.
             Tell me, is Dave in?
Dai: Eh?
Dangermouse: Is Dave in?
Dai: Oh, I don't know about that.
Dangermouse: I'm worried about that room that appeared the other
             day. It's gone again. I've got a funny feeling it had
             something to do with the axing of this soap opera.
Dai: Oh..... I have a chainsaw, but not an axe.

[Dangermouse walks into the Motel. Dai continues to sweep up. Meanwhile
 in the restaurant, the new restaurant manager is looking around. Marcus walks
 in]

Marcus: Everything OK?
Tim: Er, yes. Where are the guests?
Marcus: There aren't any. We can't afford the money to pay the extras.
Tim: Oh..... Where's the staff?
Marcus: Well Mariane can help you, but she also works behind the reception
        desk.
Tim: It's abit of a shambles really isn't it?
Marcus: Yes, but don't let it worry you. You only have to remember
        three things. First don't eat the food, it's not real, second
        don't touch the walls, they fall over.
Tim: And third?
Marcus: And don't touch the props! They've all got to go back to the charity
        shop at the end of the season and we can't afford breakages!

[In the main Bates office Tina is having a cup of tea with Alden]

Alden: A boring episode all in all.
Tina: And a space filling scene.
Alden: And no real tea.
Tina: It gets worse.
Alden: Where's Michelle?
Tina: It's her day off. I must say that I've been most pleased
      with her development as a member of staff. A real asset to the
      Motel.
Alden: And a super pair of legs to boot!
Tina: And what about our replacement for Mr Chuck?
Alden: I think it's too early to say really. 
Tina: Well, when you've been here as long as I have, nobody stays forever.
Alden [looking distant]: No..... No they don't.

[In the corridor]

Dangermouse: Look, that doors appeared here again. I get the feeling
             that whatever is behind it is responsible for the axing. Somebody 
             with a grudge.
Dave: How do you know.
Dangermouse: I've read the end of the script for this episode.
Dave: You mean you've read the script?
Dangermouse: Aren't I supposed to?
Dave: Well, nobody else does!
Dangermouse: I'll wait here. You go and fetch someone from the management, I feel  
             a confrontation coming on.

[muffled shouts come out of a cupboard further down the corridor]

Dangermouse: And you can shut up Mr Hotel inspector.

[In reception Tina is talking to Mariane]

Mariane: And then I said, oh no, I can't possibly do that. And then 
         they told me that for a fiver more they could have
         had Louise Jameson.... Oh, I think we're on.
Tina: So, do you have the booking figures for today?
Mariane: Yes, I believe I do.

[Dave runs in.]

Dave: Quick Tina, you are needed for a major confrontation for the end of 
      episode.

[Dave grabs Tinas hand and they run through the corridors of the Motel
 with the camera following them. They arrive where Dangermouse is waiting]

Tina: But there shouldn't be a door here!
Dangermouse: We know!
Dave: We think you should go in there.
Tina: Why?
Dave: Because we don't want to get hurt.

[Tina opens the door and enters. The room is bright, and not like
 any other in the Motel. A console is at the centre of the room and the walls
 are adorned with roundels. The door shuts behind Tina]

Tina: Huh! This isn't my Motel.

[A door at the side of the room swings open. A familiar voice can be heard
 as a figure emerges from the door]

Voice: It certainly isn't.

[The figure emerges, looks at Tina and smiles smugly.]

Random: Why Tina, what an unexpected pleasure........

[Theme Tune Fades In]

Storylining by

Marcus Durham, David Lewis, Aidan Folkes, Mariane Desautels, Jefferson Eng

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Transmitted from the 8th of May 1999