Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel, the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings.

There's always some manic goings on in the best websoap around, Bates Motel, the soap that makes Triangle look like Dallas.

If you want to learn more about the mad characters then click here. Otherwise read on.....

Or if you want to catch up on the previous episodes (over two years worth) then you'd better visit The Bates Motel Vault

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Next Episode due Saturday the 13th of February

Season 3 Episode 12

Written by Marcus Durham

Continuity Announcer: Later on Television Midlands we have a stunning documentry
                      which investigates the dealing of illegal spanners. Please
                      note that all facts and re-constructions in the programme
                      will be ficticious. Meanwhile here's the programme that
                      if we'd created 20 years later would be called a docusoap,
                      Bates Motel.

[The residents of the Bates Motel have been flung into the distant future. In
 the new future reception of the Motel a future Tina is speaking to Alden.]

Tina: What?
Alden: When are we?
Tina: What?
Alden: Madame! What year is thith?
Tina: 2013!
Alden: Goodness me! Thirteen minutes past eight?
Tina: No, it's the year 2013! You've all travelled forward nearly 30 years!
Chuck: So we're no longer in 1984?
Tina: No. Look, just all go into the bar. We'll have to sort this out and return
      you to your customary time and place.

[Back at present day Bates in reception, Michelle is talking to Aidan]

Michelle: I've lost everything! Fairlawns was my home and my work. How will
          I live?
Aidan: Since everyone else isn't here, that leaves me in charge. You can have a 
       job.
Michelle: Management?
Aidan: Well..... you'll be managing the plates in the restaurant. Mr Chuck always
       says he needs an assistant.
Michelle: Oh....
Aidan: It's better than nothing! And besides, when Mr Chuck is killed off you'll 
       become restaurant manager,
Michelle: Do you know something I don't?
Aidan: Actually, no. But I thought that it might get your hopes up.
Michelle: Where is everybody anyway?

[Aidan puts on an orange wig and starts sipping a glass of sherry]

Aidan: I don't know Jill, but I intend to find out.
Michelle: My names not Jill.


[Meanwhile in Bates Motel 2013, in the bar, a future Tina talks to the time 
 travellers]

Marcus: Where did all the cameras go? And those blokes with dead cats on the end
        of poles? And the bloke in the Hawaiian shirt?
Tina: We've been off the air for years. We got axed.
Marcus: What! When?
Tina: It would be unfair to tell you your future. Time will reveal all.

[They all walk into the bar]

Marcus: So how will we get back then?
Chuck: Well I saw this dodgy sci-fi movie once where they flew their spacecraft
       very fast towards the sun.
Marcus: What a load of old rubbish. Completely implausible.
Chuck: So we try it then?
Marcus: No! We certainly do not!
Tina: We just go back to Aldens equipment and see if we can send you back in
      time.
Alden: Will that work?
Tina: Just because you can't operate your own equipment it doesn't mean that I
      can't.
Alden: Oh.

[Back in the present day Fairlawns, Trina is in Charles office]

Trina: I was meaning to thank you for last night.
Charles: Yes, it was most pleasurable...... I've always loved opera.
Trina: Anyway, what now?
Charles: We must cause trouble for Alden Bates. What we need is a dissident
         element inside the Bates Motel..... and I have a person in mind.
Trina: Who?
Charles: Alden Bates's wife. She's coming here now.
Trina: How will you trick Suki to get her on our side?
Charles: Leave it to me.

[knock on door]

Trina: That will be her. I'll leave.

[Trina shows Suki in and then leaves]

Charles: Sit down. We have much to discuss.
Suki: Do we?
Charles: I have some bad news for you...... Alden has been having an affair
         with Mariane.
Suki: What!!!! I don't believe you!
Charles: It's true. Would I ever tell a lie?.... Well apart from that fraud trial..
         and my tax returns..... and the embezzlement charges..... and how I got
         Trina to work for me......
Suki: Well..... I guess.... you wouldn't be lying.
Charles: You need to get revenge on Alden.
Suki: I do?
Charles: Yes.
Suki: Oh....
Charles: Join forces with me...... Join the dark side.... I mean, er, 
         get revenge on Alden.
Suki: Yes.... Yes I shall!

[Meanwhile Trina walks out of the main doors of Fairlawns. Michelle's red 
 sports car pulls up. She opens the door and gets out.]

Michelle: I should have known you would be involved somewhere along the line.
Trina: Oh?
Michelle: That Charles Daniels has taken everything from me! My business and my
          home!
Trina: Well it will be in safe hands.... My hands to be precise, Charles has 
       appointed me Managing Director of Fairlawns. He needs my capable hands
       to manage it for him whilst he looks after his bigger interests.
Michelle: You'll do anything for power and money!
Trina: Perhaps.
Michelle: Get out of my way, I've come to collect my things.
Trina: I've put them all in a box for you...... you'll find it around the back
       of the kitchens.... next to the bins.
Michelle: Cow!

[Trina laughs. Michelle lunges at Trina, misses and falls onto the ground. Trina
 laughs and walks back into Fairlawns. Time passes. At present day Bates a car pulls
 up. The occupant gets out and answers his ringing mobile phone.]

Jefferson: Hello, Jefferson of her Majesty's Hotel and Motel inspectors....
           yes, I'm arriving there now. Yes, I'll book in without them
           knowing my job.... I'll assess them and report back.

[Suki's white car speeds past, and screeches to a halt where Mariane is walking. A 
 voice over can be heard whilst the picture freezes, it's Alden]

Aldens Voice Over: Although Mariane was seen in the previous episode to have
                   been transported to the future, we've brought her back
                   again for plot reasons. This is also to further confuse
                   confused viewers who are confused. But now back to the action.

Mariane: I'm just going into work. What's up?
Suki: How dare you!
Mariane: Just because I've had the morning off.
Suki: You know what I mean!
Mariane: Do I?
Suki: I'll get you! You'll never waitress in Kings Oak again!


[Mariane looks puzzled. Meanwhile, 30 years in the future, Alden, Marcus, Chuck and
 Dave are all stranded. In Aldens domain future Tina is operating the equipment to try
 and send them back in time]

Alden: I can't see how we can get back! If we're not careful we'll end up another
       30 years in the future! And what will we do then?
Marcus: We leave you there for a start.....
Tina: It's simple! All you need to do is reverse the polarity of the nuetron
      flow!

[Tina flicks a switch and stands back]

Tina [laughs]: Say goodbye Alden. You're all going on a journey.... A very long
               journey!

[Theme tune fades in]

Storylining by

Marcus Durham, David Lewis, Aidan Folkes, Charles Daniels, Benjamin F. Elliott, Jefferson Eng

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Transmitted from the 30th of January 1999