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There's always some manic goings on in the best websoap around, Bates Motel, the soap that makes Triangle look like Dallas.

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Next Episode due Saturday the 11th of December


Season 3 Episode 8

Written by Marcus Durham


Continuity announcer: Pass the Vodka.. have you got any glasses?....... Oh
                      bugger, I'm on. [voice goes all serious] And now
                      on Television Midlands, the soap they tried to ban...
                      er sorry, that should read the soap they'd like to
                      ban:
Theme tune fades in
[The picture fades in to reveal a Red Maestro car travelling along a road.
 A new version of the theme tune fades in as the car is seen winding it's
 way through country roads until it pulls up outside the Bates Motel. Theme tune
 finishes.]

[Marcus staggers into the office where Tina is sitting]

Marcus: I can't take any more! Those Doctor Who fans are causing a riot
        in the conference centre!
Tina: Why!
Marcus: Well all I said was that I thought that Tom Baker was the worst
        Doctor Who and the fighting just broke out. You see, the blokes
        in brown shirts said that they thought Colin Baker was the best
        Doctor.

[Tina picks up the phone and dials]

Tina: Dave, is that you? Throw everybody in the conference centre out of the motel.
      I don't care if there are 300 people in there, just get rid of them!

[Tina slams the phone down]

Tina: So, what do you want?
Marcus: What do you mean?
Tina: I mean that you will have the deciding vote when it comes to voting weather
      it will be Alden becomes the Managing Director, or if I remain as Managing
      Director.
Marcus: I haven't given it much thought.
Tina: Well do give it some thought, the board meeting will be at the end
      of this episode.
Marcus: Just because Dai has been locked away for his crimes, it doesn't mean
        that Global Hotels might not make us an offer for the Motel. I'm told
        they want a grip on the Hotel and Motel trade in the West Midlands.
Tina: You mean sell?
Marcus: Yes.
Tina: Never!!!! My Mother built up this Motel, and now I will continue
      building it up. 
Marcus [gesturing with hands]: But it is the third way!
Tina: GET OUT!!!!

[Marcus walks out into reception. Alden is sitting having a cup of coffee. He 
 gestures to Marcus. Marcus walks over]

Alden: Will you join me?
Marcus: No thank you, I've got work to do.
Alden: You do know that there can only be one Managing Director?
Marcus: Indeed.
Alden: So let's spare Tina the pain. Just vote for me, she can leave and
       everybody will be happy.
Marcus: We'll see.....

[On a Yacht off the coast of Fairlawns Trina is talking to a sun tanned stranger
 who is sipping Champaign from a glass]

Trina: So Charles, what's the plan?
Charles: Ah my dear, you are always in too much of a hurry.
Trina: Then what do we do!
Charles: We wait. Simple as that. We wait for as long as we need to.

[Outside Fairlawns Michelle is getting into her car. Her mobile phone rings as she
 drives off.]

Michelle: Hello?..... Yes I know the account hasn't been settled. Give me a week,
          we've just got a few problems with the bank..... yes I know.... but
          just give us a chance. Our cheques won't bounce again. Yes.....

[The scene cuts to one of the last remaining convention guests. It is the Master.
 He walks along the corridor and enters his room. He shuts the door behind him]

Master: Oh what a day! It's simply so tiring being evil!

[He looks over to the table where tea and biscuits have been placed]

Master: Ah, excellent. Room service have been.

[He walks over to the television and flicks through the channels. A familiar
 tune comes on]

TV: Dipsy Wipsy, Tinky Winky, La La, Po.....
Master: Ah, splendid

[The Master sits down on the chair and leans back. He fidgets slightly and
 then rips off his beard. He watches the screen for a few minutes before the
 phone rings. He answers it]

Master: Hello???? I don't care if it is the Rani, tell her I'm doing important
        observational work on a load of strange alien creatures.... I believe
        them to be distant cousins of the Tetraps.

[Tina is in the restaurant. Chuck approaches]


Chuck: I'd heard that there will be a change of management.
Tina: I doubt it.
Chuck: Then why the board meeting. As restaurant manager I have a right to know....

[Tina interrupts]

Tina: You have a right to know precisely nothing because there is nothing to know.
      If there was something to know I would know it, but since nothing is going to
      happen there is nothing that I can tell. Is that clear?
Chuck: Probably, if I understood. Any news on the next batch of cast deaths? They 
       killed off the Brigadier a few weeks ago. Someone else has to go.
Tina: Er.... er..... I know nothing about that.
Chuck: Are you sure about that......?
Tina: Yes.... and watch out for speeding cars.

[Chuck looks at one of the tables on which a trophy has been left]

Chuck: Oh no, Mr Soldeed has left his conveniently never heard of before Disco
       Dancing trophy on the table. I had better take it to him. Do you know where
       he is?
Tina: He's outside on the main road counting cars.
Chuck: That sounds odd. Still, I had better take it out to him.

[Chuck walks out with the trophy]

Tina [calling after him]: Watch out for the traffic!! It's an accident black
     spot.......

[pause]

Tina: I don't think he heard me.........

[The scene cuts to some badly lit location footage of outside the Motel. Chuck
 walks out the door wearing different clothes and sporting longer hair. He walks
 up the drive and out onto the road.]

Chuck: Now where can Soldeed be?

[As Chuck steps into the road and begins to look around Michelle's red sports car 
 looms on the horizon. Michelle is talking on the phone and not really
 paying attention to where she is going. Her car gets faster and faster as it
 approaches Chuck]

Chuck: Why do I get the feeling of impending doom?

[The picture cuts to a side on view. Michelle's car ploughs straight into Chuck and
 then explodes for no apparent reason. As the explosion subsides the trophy
 that Chuck was carrying is thrown onto the road. Back in the restaurant.]

Tina: What was that noise? It sounded like Michelle crashing into Chuck causing 
      an inexplicable explosion as we can't show any nasty blood and guts at this
      time in the evening. I must go outside.

[Mariane hurries in]

Mariane: What's up? There was a horrible noise outside. It sounded like Michelle
         crashing into Chuck causing an inexplicable explosion as we can't show
         any nasty blood and guts at this time in the evening.

[Mariane and Tina hurry outside to the road. The are confronted by the wreckage
 of the crash. Tina spots the trophy and picks it up.]

Tina [bursting into tears]: He's.....dead!!!!!
Mariane: Crying won't bring him back.
Tina [suddenly calming down]: That's true.

[Mariane spots some shoulder pads]

Mariane: This was Michelle's car! Michelle must have crashed into Chuck
         causing them both to be written out at the whim of this new 
         producer!
Tina: We'll never see their likes again
Mariane: So it's not all bad then?

[Meanwhile Alden is walking around the Motel. He opens the door to security to find an
 aged Dave. In the background a TV is showing vaguely familiar pictures]

Dave: Go away! I'm watching the old episode of Bates on UK Old!

Alden: How did you get like that? You must be twenty years older!
Dave: Well, it has been a while since I last saw you.
Alden: You haven't been fiddling with my machinery have you?
Dave: I don't know what you mean.
Alden; My equipment, in the not very secret rooms behind my old office.
Dave: Well it was Tinas fault. She told us to search the rooms!
Alden: Typical! I shall take great delight in watching her downfall!
Dave: Can you reverse this?
Alden: Perhaps, but you might have to help me.
Dave: What do you mean?
Alden: Marcus must be persuaded to vote for me to become the new Managing Director
       of the Motel.
Dave: But how!
Alden: You'll find a way. Or at least you will if you want to return
       to your old self.

[Tina and Mariane have arrived back in reception]

Tina: It's all so terrible! So tragic! Who will we get to run the restaurant now?
Mariane: Well I understand the new producer will probably cast someone.
Tina: I had better go into the office for the board meeting.
Mariane: Good luck.

[Tina walks into the office where Marcus is waiting]

Tina: So this is it. I hope you remember where your loyalties lie. When 
      you arrived here in 1978 you helped keep this Motel afloat. You
      stayed with us during the 1988 cancellation crisis and you are still
      here now. Just remember what Alden has done in the past, the depths
      to which he has sunk. He was not welcome when he first brought in here
      but my Mother had little choice.
Marcus: I am aware of all this.
Tina: This Motel needs strong leadership. And I can provide that!

[Alden walks in]

Tina: You're here then. I didn't think you'd bother. The result is a foregone
      conclusion. This Motel is mine, I run it and you won't get in my way.
Alden: I've beaten you before, and I'll beat you again.
Marcus: Can we get on with this? The bar has been open for twenty minutes
        and you're wasting my time.
Tina: The board is assembled, the motion is who should be the managing director
      of the Bates Motel.
Alden: Right, let's vote!
Tina: I vote for me to remain as Managing Director.
Alden: I vote for me to become Managing Director.

[both turn to face Marcus]

Tina: Marcus, you have the deciding vote.

Marcus: I vote for.....

[Theme tune fades in]
Theme tune fades in

Storylining by

Marcus Durham, David Lewis, Aidan Folkes, Charles Daniels, Benjamin F. Elliott, Jefferson Eng

Credit Sequence

tvm.jpg (4988 bytes)

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Transmitted from the 28th of November 1998

�1998 Marcus Durham and the respective writers of this episode. No part of this episode may be reproduced without prior written permission from David Hunter and Miss Diane. No attempt is made to supercede any existing copyrights.