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[Alden is asleep at the controls of a speedboat that is heading at high speed
 towards the quayside where the Fairlawns opening party is being held]

Michelle: He's going to collide with the quayside. Run for it!

[The boat veers to the side, misses the party and mounts a launch. People
 scream and  the boat comes to a sudden halt as it runs aground. Alden is
 thrown out of the boat, and as he hit's the ground blood streams from
 his mouth]

[Theme tune plays and fades out]

[Dave runs up to Aldens crumpled body]

Dave: Oh no! Alden's dead....dead....dead....dead.....dead.......dead.

[The picture goes all hazy. Sounds echo, bad 1970's effects swirl about. The 
 picture fades back to Alden sitting at the controls of the boat


Alden: No! No!

[Alden sits bolt upright]

Alden: I must have fallen asleep.

[Alden looks at his watch]

Alden: I've missed the party! It must all have been a dream!

[Alden's mobile phone rings. He answers it.]

Alden: Hello.

[Michelle's voice can be heard shouting from the phone]

Alden: I'm sorry I missed the launch. But I fell asleep, and then I had this 
       weird dream in which Chuck died and I crashed into the quayside in my
       boat. Anyway, who did you get to officially open Fairlawns?

[Alden's jaw drops]

Alden: Mel! My dear sweet darling Mel? And I missed her!

[Alden goes into a sulk. Meanwhile back at the Bates Motel in reception]

Alison: Well you see, the producer thinks that new viewers may not understand
        the plot, so we're going to gratuitously explain everything at 
        every opportunity.

[A dark haired woman enters reception carrying a suitcase. She walks over to the 
 reception desk]

Alison: Can I help you?
Woman: Yes, I'm Miss Trina Short and I have a room booked.
Alison: That's Trina as opposed to Tina.
Trina: Eh?
Alison: It's just there's alot of people in this soap with similar names. 
        Aidan and Alden, Dave and David and now Trina and Tina.
Trina: So?
Alison: Could we call you something else. 
Trina: Just get me booked in.
Alison: OK, but don't say I didn't warn you. Confusion usually leads to
        an untimely death in this business.
Trina: Just give me the keys!
Alison: Room 315. 

[Trina takes the keys and walks off]

Alison: Well, what did you make of that?
Suki: She's trouble. Thankfully Tina's still away, otherwise things could get
      confusing. Where is Tina anyway?
Alison: I heard a rumour she's in Wales.
Suki: Wales? I've never been there
Alison: Well don't. Hoards of men roam the valleys terrifying
        people with their close harmony singing.
Suki: I see the problem. Speaking of which, have you heard about Dai?
Alison: Yes, he's now the head of a multi-national Hotel chain.

[In her room Trina picks up the phone and dials. At Fairlawns Alden is
 in his office sulking. The phone rings]

Alden: Yes.
Trina [on the other end of the phone]: Hello, I'm your new Personal Assistant.
Alden: But I haven't even called the agency yet!
Trina: That's how efficient we are.
Alden: Well if you come over to Fairlawns we can discuss what needs doing.
Trina: Fair enough
Alden: I'll give you directions. It's only a five minute walk]

[The camera pulls back a little too far to reveal Alden is in the next set along.
 In the main office at Fairlawns Stephen and Michelle are talking business]

Stephen: We've got an interesting one here?
Michelle: Hmmm?
Stephen: A 40 foot yacht booked for a mooring.
Michelle: When?
Stephen: From tomorrow. It's for an indefinite stay.
Michelle: Really? The name?
Stephen: The Spirit of Wales.
Michelle: No, the name of the owner.
Stephen: Doesn't say. There's the name of a company though.
Michelle: Oh?
Stephen: Global Hotels.
Michelle: Hmm, that's the big Hotel chain. What are they doing here?

[Meanwhile in the restaurant at Bates]

Chuck: Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, what do you want for lunch.
Father Rob: DRINK!
Chuck: No, what do want for lunch. You know, to eat?
Father Rob: DRINK!

[Marcus enters, sees Chuck and walks over]

Marcus: A word.
Chuck: Well I always liked "Banana". It's a rather nice word.
Marcus: No, I want a word with you.
Chuck: Very well.
Marcus: This is in the strictest confidence, but I've got some good news.
Chuck: Brilliant.
Marcus: Well according to Aidan's computer you are due for a pay rise.
Chuck: Wow! I haven't had a pay rise since..... 1982.
Marcus: And I met a rather interesting guest earlier. She's offering financial
        services to the Motel.
Chuck: That sounds costly.
Marcus: No, she's offering it free.
Chuck: What's her name.
Marcus: Trina.
Chuck: Not to be confused with Tina.
Marcus: That's right.

[Marcus leaves. Soldeed gets up from his chair]

Chuck: Can I help you?
Soldeed: You? Help me?
Chuck: Yes.
Soldeed: In the name of the second Skonnan empire!
Chuck: Eh?
Soldeed: I command you to fetch me a bowl of rice pudding!
Chuck: Oh, well, I'm not sure that we have it on the menu today. The chef is 
       very temperamental and...
Soldeed: My dreams of puuuuuding!

[Soldeed collapses on the floor sobbing]

Father Rob: DRINK!
Chuck: Oh no, every mealtime!

[Meanwhile at Fairlawns, Alden is discussing business with Trina]

Alden: So I want to deal with other business.
Trina: Your Island of Love?
Alden: That's right. I want to get that started. You can look after all my
       other business.
Trina: Starting with your share in Fairlawns.
Alden: Yes, why don't you go and break the news to Michelle.

[Trina leaves the room. Meanwhile Stephen and Michelle are discussing business 
 in the main office]


Stephen: So you see, if we convert that room there..

[There is a knock on the door]

Michelle: Come in.

Trina: I have been employed to take control of all Mr Bates's business
       interests. That include his share in this venture.

[Trina leaves the room]

Stephen: Deary Me, she makes even you look under-ambitious!
Michelle: Shut up! She's trouble!
Stephen: Why do you look so worried?
Michelle: Because I know there is oil under the Bates Motel. And I want
          to drill. Nothing and nobody is going to stop me.
Stephen: But you don't have the right.
Michelle: No, but I soon will have. I'm meeting Marcus first thing tomorrow 
          morning. I want you to be there. 

[Back at Bates in the restaurant]

Marcus: Well there's some good news and some bad news.
Chuck: Oh?
Marcus: Well, a new robotic waitress has just arrived. It will do all the 
        fetching and carrying in the restaurant.
Chuck: Wow that's two goods pieces of news you've told me today! Next thing
	you'll be telling me that you are Santa!
Marcus: You haven't heard the bad news yet. In fact you could say that I'm the
        opposite of Santa.
Chuck: Oh no! The anti-Santa!
Marcus: No, it's just you've got to assemble the new robotic waitress. It comes 
        in a kit form.
Chuck: Where is it?
Marcus: It's in security. Dave will help you. 
Chuck: Are you sure that's a good idea after the blender incident?
Marcus: Just hurry along.

[Chuck leaves the restaurant and walks along to security. In security Dave is 
 standing looking at a large box with "Uncle Clive's Robotics" 
 written on the side]

Chuck: Is that it?
Dave: Yep.

[Dave tips the contents of the box onto the floor]

Dave: Let's get started then.

[Meanwhile in the office.]

Marcus: So what do you suggest we do?
Trina: You should float the company on the stock market.
Suki: Why?
Trina: You'd make a fortune.
Suki: I wouldn't make a fortune. I'm only looking after Tina's shares whilst
      she's away.
Marcus: But you have full authority to do anything with them.
Suki: I think it's a good idea.
Marcus: I'm not convinced. I would lay us open for a take-over.
Trina: Nonsense. You'd be a paper millionaire.
Marcus: Where do I sign?
Trina: I'll set the wheels in motion. 

[Trina gets up and leaves]

Suki: Are you sure about this?
Marcus: Oh yes.
Suki: I mean, are you sure I can deal with Tina's shares.
Marcus: You have control of them. Don't worry. Well, it's getting late.
        I'm off to the bar.

[Marcus leaves the room]

Suki: But I do worry. I worry very much indeed.

[In security Dave and Chuck are struggling with the kit]

Chuck: Are you sure the head goes on that way?
Dave: Yes I am sure.
Chuck: Well go on, boot it up then.
Dave: Doesn't look much like a waitress does it?

[Dave inserts a disk into the robot and presses a switch. The robot comes to life
 and then begins to speak]

Robot: Brrr. Brrr. Copyright 1982 Sir Clive Research.
Chuck [reading from the manual]: Report model.
Robot: Raston Warrior Robot mk2 QL. 48k memory.
Chuck: No that's not right.
Dave: It's Marcus, he's ordered the wrong robot! We wanted the waitress!
Chuck: I'll kill Marcus when I get hold of him.
Robot: Program set. Kill Marcus.
Chuck: No, hang on!

[The robot jumps in the air and disappears]

Chuck: Oh no! Where's it gone?

[Marcus enters the bar. Aidan is behind the bar. Alison can be seen talking to
 Father Rob who is sitting at the bar drinking something that looks suspiciously
 like industrial strength floor polish.]

Marcus: I'll have a Scotch.... No forget that.
Aidan: I already have.
Marcus: Ummm.
Aidan: Well what do you want?
Marcus: I'll have a bottle of champagne!
Aidan: Celebrating? Don't tell me, your lobotomy appointments been confirmed.
Marcus: I shall ignore that comment. No, the Bates Motel is going to go through one
        of the biggest changes in it's history. And I'm going to be rich.
Aidan: Oh yes?
Marcus: Nothing in the world can stop me now!

[The camera pulls out to reveal Trina in the foreground]

[Theme tune fades in]

Marcus Durham
David Lewis
Aidan Folkes

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THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

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