THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

THE BATES MOTEL VAULT

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Alison: Bates Motel? I'm sorry but we're fully booked for the next three 
        years. Please leave your message after the tone. This has not been
        a recording ...

The Bag: SEVEN. SIX......

[Theme tune fades in, plays and then fades down]

SOUNDS OFF: (extreme chaos, noise, panic and screaming.)

The Bag: FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. ONE.....


[Theme tune plays and fades out]


[Tina enters just as Dave grabs the bag and runs out through the main doors
 into the carpark]

The Bag: DETONATE DETONATE DETONATE!

[Dave throws the bag as far as he can and throws himself to the ground. The scene
 cuts back to reception. A flash of white light is seen followed by the sound
 of a massive explosion]

Tina: Phew, I knew that nuclear bomb proof double glazing would come in handy one
      day. To think, if we had been outside we would have almost certainly been
      killed.
Suki: The Motel hasn't seen a bang that big since Alden hired out chalet 314 for
      immoral purposes. Hang on, what about Dave?
Tina: Sadly he's will be dead. The radiation will have killed him.

[Tina walks into the middle of reception and trips over the large chest shaped
 object in the carpet]

Tina: When is somebody going to sort out that lump. I will not have lumps in the
      carpet. Suki, tell Dai to have the lump removed as soon as possible.

[In the depths of the Sea Devil base things are getting a little damp. Water is
 gushing in from the ceiling whilst Alden stands next to a large lever laughing
 madly]

Marcus: You're mad! Why did you pull that lever?
Alden: To flood the place out.
Marcus: But you'll drown as well!
Alden: Er, I hadn't though of that.
Marcus [shouting]: Stop the water you idiot!

[Suddenly a green figure enters the chamber]

Marcus: What the hell's that!

[The figure walks towards Alden and pushes the lever up. The water stops]

Alden: What did you do that for? I was in complete control.
Sea Devil: Our leader wishes to speak to you.
Marcus: What's going on?
Alden: Shut up it's none of your business.
Marcus: I rather do think it's my business actually.

[Alden and the Sea Devil leave the chamber. Dai steps out of the shadows]

Dai: I have a cunning plan boyo.
Marcus: What? You wouldn't know cunning if a fox with "Cunning" written on it
        came up and bit you.
Dai: [pointing to a door] Look, that's an escape hatch. You go and get inside it, 
     I'll go and find out what Alden is up to.
Marcus:.... Well I don't know what I'm supposed to say now!

[Dai scowls. The scene cuts to the swimming pool in the Bates Motel. A Dalek is
 reading a newspaper by the poolside. Davros enters. From off-set Dai's voice
 can be heard.]

Dai [off set]: 20 years in the business luv! 20 years! I've never been so let down
               in all my life. Call yourself a professional? Do you? You're an
               amateur and that's all you'll ever be!

Davros: Report!
Dalek: WATER IS 76 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!
Davros: Excellent! I wish to go for a swim.
Dalek: DALEK LOGIC SAYS THAT SWIMMING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Davros: No, no. It can't be. I shall swim!
Dalek: ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL!
Davros: No. I shall create a new race of Daleks. A race of Daleks that can
        swim. They shall be the supreme beings of the universe.
Dalek: OH GOD, NOT AGAIN!


[Inside the escape hatch Marcus is sitting alone. The hatch opens. Dai enters]

Dai: I've found out what Alden is up to. He's planning to use the Sea Devils
     in order to destroy the Bates Motel
Marcus: Good God, he must be stopped!
Dai: Yes boyo. Let's get out of here.
Marcus: How do we operate the escape hatch.
Dai: Oh well, it's simple. You just press that button.

[Marcus presses the button. A whoosing noise starts. Dai speaks above the noise]

Dai: Can you swim?
Marcus: Why?
Dai: Well, where do you think we're going to end up, considering that we are 
     in a bunker 150 feet under the Solant.
Marcus: You mean we're going to end up in the sea?

[Suddenly the top of the hatch opens and Marcus and Dai are projected upwards.
 10 seconds later they emerge on the surface.]

Marcus: What now? We can't swim 2 miles!
Dai: Wait a moment. A self inflating raft should appear.

[A plastic looking object floats up to the surface. Dai swims over and pulls the
 string. The raft inflates and Marcus and Dai climb aboard.]

Dai: We can row to the mainland.
Marcus: But the Isle of Wight is closer Shirley?
Dai: We'd still have to get back to the mainland boyo. And my name's not
     Shirley boyo.
Marcus: Yes, we've got to get back to the Motel and warn the others. Hurry up,
        My investment is at stake!

[A power boat speeds past with what looks like Alden on-board]

Dai: That looks like Alden.
Marcus: Poor soul. Imagine looking like Alden!
Dai: No boyo, I think it was Alden!
Marcus: We'd better move!


[In the Bates Motel reception]

Alison: Poor old Dave. He's bitten the dust. He is an ex-Dave.

[Dave strides in through the main door]

Suki: But you're dead!
Dave: Dead? But my contract doesn't run out until July!
Suki: But what about the damage outside?
Dave: Oh, some damage to the flowerbeds, oh and Chucks car has come off 
      worse for wear.

[In the bar Aidan is serving. Chuck walks in]

Chuck: What are you doing?
Aidan: The barmaids off sick. Marcus was supposed to be doing this but
       he's not around.
Chuck: What's wrong with her?
Aidan: She started speaking. And we all know what happens to non-speaking 
       extras who start speaking!

[A guest walks up to the bar]

Aidan: Can I help you?
Guest: Do you have any French cigarette's?
Aidan: No, but we have some English ones that you can smoke with a foreign
       accent.

[The guest walks away]

Chuck: So what's been happening?
Aidan: What do you mean?
Chuck: That noise outside? It sounded quite serious.
Aidan: I don't know.
Chuck: Oh, never mind. It's just my car was parked out there and if something
       had happened to it I might just have to kill myself.

[At the quayside at Fairlawns Alden is tying up his boat. Stephen walks up]

Stephen: Michelles after you. Where have you been?
Alden: I've been out testing this boat.
Stephen: Well she wants to see you in here office. And I need some help
         when you've finished.

[Alden proceeds to the office and enters]

Michelle: And where the hell do you think you've been?
Alden: Well..
Michelle: Alden Bates you are a workshy lazy layabout! You are supposed to be 
          a partner in this venture and yet you haven't done anything yet!
Alden: Well I was..
Michelle: Shut up!
Alden: Well can I..?
Michelle: No! Stephen needs some help bringing in boats.
Alden: But...
Michelle: NOW!

[Alden scurries off]

Michelle: I'm beginning to wish I'd never brought him in here!

[Michelle picks up the phone and dials]

Michelle: Hello Tina, it's Michelle here. Yes, indeed... Well I was in America
          for the last five years.... Yes, we could meet up. The Yacht Club at
          4PM, yes. OK, see you later.

[In the carpark of the Bates Motel]

Chuck: My car, my pride and joy! [collapses to his knees]

[Dave walks across the carpark]

Dave: Ah yes, slight accident with your car. Still, never mind. 
Chuck [sobbing into his hands]: My car! Tell me, who did this?
Dave: Er, well in all honesty I can't say that I wasn't a little bit
      involved [laughs nervously].

[Chuck gets up slowly, grabs one of the windscreen wipers off the car and starts 
 hitting Dave with it]

Dave: Oww! Get off!
Chuck: Git! Git! Git!

[Chuck begins to chase Dave around the carpark whilst swiping at Dave with the
 wiper.]

[A dark red car speeds into the carpark and comes to a screeching halt]

Dave: Bugger me, something must be up. Marcus never usually drives at that
      speed.
Chuck [pointing the wiper at Dave]: I'm going to stick this right up your..

[Marcus dashes out of his car]

Marcus: We have a major emergency on our hands. Get Tina!
Chuck: But she went out 5 minutes ago.
Marcus: Then get Marcus.
Chuck: But....

[A black car pulls up. Two bishops get out]

Chuck: Oh my goodness, the Bishops have arrived! It's Father Rob's sermon tomorrow!

[Chuck scurries off]

Marcus: Alden's preparing to use force to invade the Motel. Sea Devils.
Dave: We'd better prepare the Motel for an attack! One thing?
Marcus: What?
Dave: What are Sea Devils.
Marcus: Er, they are kind of Devils that come from the sea. Hence the name
        Sea Devils
Dave: Oh, I see. You wouldn't have thought it would you?


[Marcus Dave and Dai run into reception]

Dai: Miss Alison, big green things are coming to get me!

[Alison stares at Dai]

Marcus: Or more specifically we're about to be over-run with strange beings who
        wish to take over the Motel. We'll put Emergency plan 7b into operation.
Alison: Emergency plan 7b? Are you really sure?
Marcus: Oh yes, defiantly.
Alison: But surely it's impossible without a goat and 2 pints of whipped cream?
Marcus: Er, emergency plan 7c. I said emergency plan 7c. I do wish you would
        listen.

[It is 4PM. Tina has arrived at the Yacht club, Michelle enters. Tina greets
 Michelle]

Tina: Long time no see.
Michelle: Yes, it's good to see you again. I'm sorry I didn't get in contact
          sooner, but we are business rivals now.
Tina: Yes. But let's not mix business with our friendship, we were at school
      together.
Michelle: I only got back from America two weeks ago. I've invested in the
          marina project. Alden brought in on it, it's as simple as that.
          I don't plan to get involved in any of his petty vendettas.
Tina: That's good.
Michelle: So tell me about him.
Tina: But haven't you done your research? You are usually so meticulous.
Michelle: I have, but I'd rather hear it from you.
Tina: Well the thing you have to remember about Alden is that he's a smooth 
      operator. But don't get involved, this coastline is scattered with the 
      corpses of people who've been destroyed by him, in business or pleasure.
Michelle: Didn't he elbow his way into your Motel?
Tina: He did, and my Mother never forgave him for it. He's out now though
      and it's going to stay that way. But to be honest I've been thinking
      of leaving it all behind for a while. I just fancy running away and
      doing something mad.
Michelle [sounding confident]: Don't worry, I intend to stay in full control.
          it's my business and I intend to keep it that way. Alden Bates may
          well have met his match [both laugh]

[Suddenly, in the distance, a roar of noise can be heard]

Michelle: What's that?
Tina: I don't know. Marcus is probably firing the Motel into space or 
      something [both laugh]

[Back at Bates in reception]

Dave: Countdown commencing, lift-off in 1 minute.

[Suddenly control panels morph out of the reception desk. The lights dim
 and the doors and windows visibly seal]

Alison: Marcus, are you sure this will work?
Marcus: Well we're escape Alden's plans, and we might even fry him in the 
        process.

[At the edge of the Motel grounds something very green and very nasty is lurking.
 It is Alden with an army of Sea Devils]

Alden: OK, attack!
Chief Sea Devil: I'll give the orders here sunshine. Just remember who you are.
Alden [pulling the Sea Devil by his costume]: And just you remember that I'm
      a star member of the cast. Right now, ATTACK!

[Alden and the Sea Devils run towards the Motel. In reception]

Dave: Countdown at T minus 10...9...8...7...6
Alison: We have ignition....
Dai: Oh no boyo, we're all doomed. We're all going to Dai... I mean die!
Dave: 3...2...1..... Bates Motel has lift-off!

[Theme Tune fades in]

And Introducing:
Michelle Nire

Marcus Durham
David Lewis
Dave Stone
Aidan Folkes

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THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

THE BATES MOTEL VAULT