THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

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[In the office at Fairlawns, the phone is ringing. Michelle picks up the phone]

Michelle: Hello, Fairlawns.

[Theme tune plays and fades out]

Michelle: Yes, that will do splendidly. Bye.

[Michelle puts the phone down. Alden enters]

Alden: You've started work early.
Michelle: Yes, there's lots to do.
Alden: Is Stephen in yet?
Michele: He's due any minute.

[The intercom phone rings Alden picks up the phone]

Alden: Yes, tell him to come in.

[Alden puts down the phone. There is a knock on the door and Stephen
 enters]

Stephen: Morning.
Alden: Do sit down.
Stephen: Thanks.
Michelle: Alden, if you have no objections I would like to brief Stephen
          before he starts work.
Alden: OK.

[Michelle gets up and leaves. Alden takes her place at the desk]

Alden: Well, what do you think?
Stephen: Not bad looking. Not bad at all!
Alden: Not her, I meant Fairlawns.
Stephen: Oh! Well, it's very nice. I like the moorings.
Alden: Well, you should find things more enjoyable here. Less stressful.
Stephen: No Chuck, and no Pete. Yes, that is certainly less stressful!
Alden: Well, you had better go and see Michelle. She'll tell you
       about what you will be doing.
Stephen: Er, does she know about that charity business last year?
Alden: [looking shifty] I don't know what you mean.
Stephen: You remember, you collected all that money for that charity and
         it went missing. It's just if she doesn't know I won't mention it.
Alden: Look, that money was just resting in my back account!
Stephen: Whatever.....

[Over at Bates things are more hectic in reception]

Tina [to a non-speaking guest]: No, I'm afraid there is no mail for 
room 316.
Marcus [to another guest]: No, you can't have an elephant in your room!

[The phone rings, Tina picks it up]

Tina: Hello, Bates Motel the West Midlands top blah blah blah. How can 
I help you?

[A twittering sound can be heard from the phone]

Tina: Er...! I'll have to check about that, hold please!. [to Marcus] 
It's the Cyber Controller, he wants to know if we could do their 
Christmas party.
Marcus: What!? It's a bit early isn't it. Anyway, tell them no. The 
mess they made last time! I only managed to stop them from converting 
the guests was by sticking UK Gold on the telly.
Tina [to phone]: I'm sorry but at the moment we can't take bookings. If 
you'd like to phone back later...

[she hangs up]

Marcus [to Tina]: I haven't seen your Mother lately. Where is she?
Tina: Oh! She went to America. She's living their now. Still, it means 
Suki will come back to work.

[Later in reception. Alison at the reception desk. Dave enters]

Dave: Alison?
Alison: Yes?
Dave: Have you seen Dai lately?
Alison: No, I haven't seen him for three days.

[musical sting plays]

Dave: What was that?

[Dave walks forwards and trips over the lump in the carpet.]

Dave: I wonder what that is?

[Back at Fairlawns, Alden is preparing his bat to go out to sea]

Stephen: Where are you going?
Alden: I've got to go out to the Seafort and make some preparations. 
       Get some food in. Fit a super-duper home entertainment system. You 
       know, that sort of thing.
Stephen: Yes, of course.
Alden: Well everything's ship-shape and some west country city fashion. 
       So I'll be off.


[Alden starts the boat and heads for the Seafort. Meanwhile back in
 the garden of Bates Dave is looking for Dai. Dave walks up to Dai's
 shed and knocks on the door. Dave enters]

Dave: What are you doing in here. And what are all these books? You
      can't even read.
Dai: Er, I don't know what you mean.
Dave: Look, these books here. And look, you've even got one in your hand.
Dai: Oh, I was just looking at the pictures.

[Dave snatches it away]

Dave: Looking at the pictures? Advanced Financial Accounting? There
      aren't even any pictures... What are you up to?

[Dai looks shifty]

Dave: Oh, I'll leave you to it.

[In Tina's office, Tina is on the phone. Marcus is sitting at a 
 desk doing some work on a computer]

Tina: I see... Yes..... And you say Alden has been seen... OK, thanks

Marcus: DIE ALIEN SCUM!!!!!!

[Tina puts the phone down and turns to face Marcus]

Tina: I take it you've finished the accounts then?
Marcus: Umm, yes... Well, in a moment. There's just a few finishing touches.
Tina: Listed. One of my employees from my power boat company is on the phone.
      He says that Alden has been seen heading towards the sea fort at
      high speed.
Marcus: So? We know he's been messing around there.
Tina: That's not all. They say that boats have been going missing from
      around the sea fort.
Marcus: Missing?
Tina: Well, they've recovered a couple. They appear to be burnt and have
      giant scratches down them.
Marcus: Well that could be rocks.
Tina: Rocks don't cause boats to burn.
Marcus: True.
Tina: I think you'd better go out there and see what Alden is up to.
Marcus: Hang on a moment, do you think I'm mad? I'll be sunk.
Tina: Then keep your distance!

[Meanwhile in reception is not very busy. Alison is still at the desk. 
 Marcus walks out of the office.]

Marcus: If anybody calls, I'm out.
Alison: OK.
Marcus: And if anybody asks, you don't know where I am or that I've gone.
Alison: Then how do I know that you're not here.
Marcus: Tell them I'm here, but I don't know where I am.
Alison: OK.

[Marcus leaves via the main doors. Father Rob walks in and stumbles over
 the large lump in the middle of the reception carpet]

Father Rob: CANON!
Alison: Er, can I help you.
Father Rob: DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

[Father Rob shoves a poster in Alisons face]

Alison: Umm right. I'll put it up.
Father Rob: DRINK! DRINK DRINK!

[Father Rob stumbles off in the direction of the bar. Alison puts the
 poster up. Chuck walks in.]

Chuck: What's that?
Alison: It's a poster Father Rob asked me to put up.
Chuck: [reading from poster] Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? If not
       then come to Father Rob Stradlings sermon this Sunday in the Bates
       Motel conference centre. With special guests, the Bishop of the
       West Midlands and the Bishop of Southamptonfordshire.
Alison: They sound like important people.
Chuck: They are. They're the people who pay for Father Rob to stay
       here whilst he's "between" jobs.
Alison: Why's that?
Chuck: Well, there was this "fire" at his last parish.
Alison: Is that all?
Chuck: Well yes. But keeping in mind that he was arrested for arson I
       think he's doing pretty well. Anyway, we're in trouble if he goes
       ahead with this sermon.
Alison: Why?
Chuck: If the Bishops see that Father Rob is still a drunken fool then
       they'll remove him from the Motel, and we'll loose the custom. We
       need him to appear sober and normal.
Alison: You'll be lucky. Although...
Chuck: What?
Alison: Well, you could smarten him up and train him to do a few basic
        things. A bit like a dog.
Chuck: Don't be silly, Father Rob isn't a dog. He's better than that.

[Noises can be heard from the bar]

Father Rob: DRINK! DRINK! CANON!
Chuck: Well I suppose it's worth a try.

[Suki walks into reception, and straight into the office]

Tina: Ah, welcome. Have a seat.

[Suki sits down]

Tina: How are things?
Suki: Well I'm living with Alden, well for the time being at least.
Tina: What's he up to exactly?
Suki: I'm not sure. He's being cagey.
Tina: Well could you keep an eye on him. It's for the good of the Motel.
Suki: Of course.
Tina: And if Aldens left the Motel, we'll need some help managing the Motel.
Suki: What kind of thing?
Tina: Oh, the stuff Alden did.
Suki: Sitting around all day doing nothing?
Tina: I'll re-phrase that. The stuff Alden should have done.

[Near the Seafort Marcus's boat is approaching. Marcus is peering 
 through binoculars. The sun is shining it appears a nice day]

Marcus: Well, there's his boat, so where is he?

[Alden appears from a door on the Seafort]

Marcus: Aha! So there he is.

[Alden turns around to face the door he came from. He appears to say 
 something to a shadowy green figure who has appeared in the doorway]

Marcus: I knew he was up to something fishy. I wonder who that is.

[The green shadowy figure jumps off the Seafort into the Sea and 
 disappears. Alden gets into his boat and speeds off]

Marcus: Where's he going?

[A mist begins to form around Marcus's boat]

Marcus: What the hell....?

[The camera pulls out as Marcus and his boat disappear into the mist]

[Theme tune fades in]

And Introducing:
Michelle Nire

Marcus Durham
David Lewis
Alden Bates

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THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE

THE BATES MOTEL VAULT