Welcome to the Bates Motel the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings. Alden Bates is the owner. Stephen is the Head Waiter. Marcus Durham is the Motel manager and David Lewis is Dai the gardener, Miss Alison is the head waitress, Tina J Perrett owns a stake in the Motel, Dave Stone is the security guard and Chuck is the restaurant manager. Peter Goddard is the big hatted Caledonian head chef. There's also an array of other wonderful characters who work at the motel as well as lunatic guests such as Father Canon Straddling. And Neil Farnham Smith guest stars.
THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE
Next episode due 14th of November
Season 2 Episode 4
Written by: Marcus Durham
[Meanwhile 200 miles directly above the Motel in the control room of an
advanced spacecraft three Daleks can be seen. Davros enters the control room]
Davros: Report!
Dalek: SPACECRAFT IS IN POSITION.
Davros: Excellent. Prepare to go into landing mode. Destination, Kings Oak!
[Theme tune plays and fades out]
[In the Motel restaurant Alden is sitting at a table. Chuck is serving him]
Chuck [in a frustrated tone]: Well what do you want?
Alden: I can't remember what I like... Who are you again?
Chuck: Look, just order!
Alden: Eh?
Chuck: What about the soup of the day followed by the dish of the day
accompanied by the wine of the day.
Alden: What day is it?
Chuck: Arrghhhhhh!!!!
[In the kitchen Pete is preparing the food. Alison enters]
Pete: Och, where's that young lad Stephen?
Alison: I don't know. Come to think of it I haven't seen him in a while.
[Chuck bursts in]
Chuck: I give in, I really do! Alden's worse than usual.
Alison: That's saying something! Say, Chuck?
Chuck: What?
Alison: Have you seen Stephen lately?
Chuck: Oh, I sent him to get a bag of sugar from the shop.
[Alison looks shocked]
Alison: How long ago was this?
Chuck: Oh, 3 weeks ago.
Alison: What!
Chuck: Yes, come to think of it, it has been a long time.
Pete: Och well, you know what it's like laddie. Those queues are terrible!
Alison: Look you two! Don't you know what happens when somebody goes
to buy a bag of sugar?
Chuck: What?
Alison: They'll never be seen again.
Chuck: Don't be silly!
Alison: I'm being silly? The previous chef went to get a bag of sugar in 1976
and was never seen again.
Pete: What, Angus?
Chuck: Angus Gulliver? I've heard of him. Doesn't he work on Emmerdale
Farm now?
[Alison and Pete give Chuck a horrified look]
Alison: I would remind you that there is no such thing. It's not canon!
[Suddenly there is a clattering sound from outside. It is Father Canon Rob
Straddling. He staggers in]
Father Rob: CANON! CANON! CANON!
Alison: Excuse me Sir, I would remind you that guests are not
permitted in the kitchen.
[Father Rob spots a bottle of cooking sherry]
Father Rob: DRINK!
Alison: Oh no!
[In the Executive Sitting Room Tina is sitting alone. Suki enters]
Tina: Ah, I've been meaning to have a word with you.
Suki: Oh?
Tina: Just who are you. You appear out of nowhere and place yourself in here.
Suki: All will become apparent with time.
Tina: Why won't you tell me now?
Suki: Trust me Tina, we're both on the same side.
Tina: Hmm, well whilst you are here you can make yourself useful.
Could you staff the reception desk?
Suki: That's easy enough.
Tina: You know what to do?
Suki: I should do, I've had 40 years experience.
[Tina looks shocked]
Tina: But you can only be about 35?
Suki: In this regeneration perhaps.
[Suki leaves the room]
Tina: What does she mean?
[Meanwhile in security Dave and Dai are examining the treasure map]
Dave: I think the indications are that the treasure is buried within
the Motels grounds.
Dai: Well I'll look after the map boyo.
Dave: Yes, I've taken a photocopy anyway.
[The telephone rings. Dave picks up the phone. The phone continues
ringing. Dave puts the phone down again and then picks it up. The
phone still rings. Dave then hits the phone. It stops ringing]
Dave: Hello..yes Tina... That's not really my job....
[the phone starts ringing again]
[The scene is abruptly cut to reception. A camera is standing
in the middle of the reception. Suki runs on from off-set and
positions herself behind the reception desk. A man runs into
reception and pulls the camera off set]
Suki: Oh what a busy day.
[The front doors crash open. Three Daleks enter followed by Davros.
They trundle up to the reception desk]
Suki: Can I help you?
Davros: Yes, I have a room booked.
Suki [opening the bookings book]: Your name?
Davros: Davros, supreme creator of the Daleks, destroyer of planets and
founder member of the Jimmy Hill appreciation society.
Suki: [Pause] Ah yes, here we are. Yes, the luxury suite. Room 314.
Davros: I trust it's on the ground floor.
Suki: Er... yes it is.
Davros: Excellent.
[In the main office Tina is sitting alone. There is a knock on the door.]
Tina: You may enter.
[The door opens, it is Dave]
Tina: Ah Dave, I want to discuss our phone call earlier.
Dave: What? About asking me to search Aldens study?
Tina: Yes. I want you to find any documentation relating to his new wife.
Dave: Will do.
[Dave leaves. There is a slight pause then Chuck enters]
Tina: Ah Chuck.
Chuck: What do you want? The restaurant is very busy and if you are just
going to waste my time then may I suggest you do it after the
restaurant is closed.
[pause]
Tina: Umm, yes. Look, just keep an eye on what Marcus is up to.
Chuck: Is that it?
Tina: Yes.
Chuck: Do you want your usual table in the restaurant for dinner?
Tina: I suppose so.
[Meanwhile in Aldens study Dave is searching. Aidan enters]
Aidan: What are you doing?
Dave: I don't know.
Aidan: Cease this foolishness.
Dave: Well, Tina asked me to search Aldens study to find anything to
do with his new wife.
Aidan: I had been wondering about that. OK, well continue. I won't tell Alden.
Dave: He won't remember anyway.
Aidan: I'm working on that.
Dave: What? You have a plan to get Aldens memory back?
Aidan: Indeed I do. All it requires is a little time.
[Aidan leaves, Dave continues to search. Meanwhile in reception Suki is
still standing at the reception desk. Alden walks in.]
Suki: Hello my dear.
Alden: Are you talking to me?
Suki: Yes sweetest.
Alden: Sorry, do I know you?
Suki: I'm your wife.
Alden: I didn't know I was married. Where am I again?
Suki: Oh my!
[Suddenly Dai bursts in. He is covered in snow]
Dai: It's blowing blizzards out there. It's 14 degrees below!
Suki: Well, it is November. What do you expect?
[Suddenly Alison enters. She is dressed in summer cloths and is wearing sunglasses]
Alison: Phew, it's so hot and sunny today.
[The others all stare at her. Alden wanders off through the main doors]
Dai: No Miss Alison. It's snowing outside!
Alison: Is it? That's slightly odd for July isn't it?
Dai: [in a whisper]: Look, this episode is going out in November.
Alison: Oh! Er, well I was just trying out these cloths for my holiday.
[Alison runs to the left, realises she's gone the wrong way and walks over
to the right straight in front of the camera. Meanwhile outside Alden has
walked up to the main gates. He is standing next to the main road.]
Alden: What should I do now?
[At the same moment Marcus is driving down the same road. He is
approaching the Motel]
Marcus: What's this? Hang on, the cruse control has jammed. I can't slow down!
[Suddenly Alden steps into the road.]
Marcus: Oh my God! NOOO!!!!!!
[Picture cuts to the car approaching Alden at high speed]
[Theme tune fades in]
Storylining
Marcus Durham Alden Bates
THE BATES MOTEL CHARACTER GUIDE
Transmitted from the 15th of November 1997
This episode of Bates Motel is (c) 1997 Marcus Durham and the respective writer of this episode. No part of this episode may be reproduced without express written permission from David Hunter and Miss Diane.