Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings. Alden Bates is the owner. Random's the receptionist whilst Stephen is the Head Waiter. I'm Marcus Durham, the hotel manager, shareholder and general smooth charmer. David Lewis is playing Dai the gardener, and Alison will be taking the part of Miss Alison. Tina J Perrett owns a stake in the Motel. Dave Stone is the security guard and Chuck is the resturant manager. Also Peter Goddard is the big hatted Caledonian head chef. There's also an array of other wonderful characters who work at the motel.

If you enjoyed Crossroads, loved Triangle, adored Howards Way and are a Doctor Who fan you will love this soap. It stars the occupants of rec.arts.drwho and uk.media.tv.sf.drwho

[Marcus sits in the chair and puts the helmet on. Suddenly lots of bad special
 effects start and there is a high pitched noise] 
Marcus: Argghhhh!!!!!! 
Boss: The world! Mine for the taking. [growing more manic] NOTHING IN THE WORLD
      WILL STOP ME NOW!!!! 
 
 
[Theme plays and fades out] 

[Suddenly there is a loud bang and all the lights go out]
Marcus[out of the darkness]: I think BOSS has blown a fuse. 
Chuck: Our primary objective has changed. Our objective is now to find
       the fuse box.
[Marcus and Chuck walk off bumping into things].

[In the restaurant]

Stephan: My apologies ladies and gentlemen. We appear to have a power cut.
         Rest assured we will seek to rectify the problem.
[Out of the darkness]
Soldeed: Lord Nimon, the hour is nigh!
Stephen: Mr Soldeed, could you please sit down!
Soldeed: The Nimon waits for no man!
Stephen: Yes sir, I do appreciate this.

[Suddenly the kitchen door opens and daylight streams in. A short figure in
 a hat is standing in the doorway]
Soldeed: Lord Nimon!
Figure: Och, I canne work in these conditions!
[Stephen hurries over]
Stephen: Look Pete, could you get back into the kitchen. You know what happened
         last time a guest saw you.
Pete: You don't understand laddie. I've been thrown out of the kitchen
      by Marcus and Chuck.

[Stephen tries to open the door]

Stephen: By jingo, you're right!

[In the kitchen]

Marcus: Got the fuse box open yet?
Chuck: I'm trying.

[Marcus passes Chuck a screwdriver]

Marcus: Force it open! Nothing and nobody must stand in our way now!

[Chuck wedges in the screwdriver whilst Marcus pulls at the casing.
 Suddenly there is a blue flash of light, a bang and Marcus and
 Chuck are thrown backwards. The lights then come on.]

[In the restaurant]

Stephen: Ahh excellent.

[Stephen looks around and sees the Brigadier hiding underneath a table]

Stephen: Brigadier, what are you doing under there?
Brigadier: Bally Germans!
Stephen: What?
Brigadier: The blackout!
Stephen: No, it was a powercut.
Brigadier: What about the air raid?
Stephen: There was no air raid. Now please sit down and eat your dinner.

[Alden is in reception. Tina walks in]

Tina: Oh, so you are OK then?
Alden: Well yes, apart from the window.
Tina: Stop bleating about being thrown through the window. You are
      always complaining!
Alden: Yes, but what is Aidan up to?
Tina: That is your business. My problem is trying to run this Motel.
      You know the French teacher convention is starting in 5 minutes!
Alden: Oh yes. I had forgotten about that.

[In the kitchen]

Marcus: What happened?
Chuck: I don't know. I don't remember anything!
Marcus: I do! That computer was going to take over the world! We must stop it!

[Marcus takes out an axe from Petes knife drawer and runs out of the kitchen.
 Chuck follows. They enter reception]

Alison: Er, Marcus.... Could you welcome these guests?

[Marcus turns around to face the new guests. He is holding the axe
 and looks very hassled]

Marcus: Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel! We are all very friendly here
        and if you should require any help please
        feel to ask. [Marcus realises he is holding the axe and casually
        passes it to Chuck]. Er, Alison will show you to your rooms.

[Marcus grabs the axe and makes a hasty exit. Chuck follows complaining that
 he still cannot remember anything].

[Meanwhile in the convention centre the French teachers are assembled.
 Dai is standing outside the door watching the proceedings
 through the keyhole. In the hall one woman gets up and walks to the front]

Woman: Greetings and welcome to this meeting fellow French teachers.
       This is a very important day. For many years we have been
       brainwashing the children of this country. Even though they
       learn French for over 5 school years none of them can speak
       a word of French when they leave school. This is for a reason.
       The repetitive sentences we make them repeat are special codes
       and when the code is repeated in sequence the people who learnt
       them will fall under our control. And now the time is right.
       Fellows, we will activate a special blanket radio and TV
       broadcast and in an instant the entire population will be at our mercy!

[outside the door]

Dai: Oh no!

[In the cellar Marcus is proceeding towards BOSS's chamber with the
 axe. Chuck is following, he looks dazed and confused.
 Marcus walks into BOSS's chamber].

Marcus: Right you monstrous metal maniac, your time has come.
        [Marcus swings the axe in the air]. Take this!
BOSS: Foster, stop him!

[Chuck falters, looks confused. Then a determined look takes
 over his face. He walks towards Marcus, grabs the axe and
 pulls it away. He then begins to attack Marcus with it.
 Marcus dodges and Chuck hits BOSS and part of the machine's
 side comes away. Chuck falls to the floor unconscious.
 Marcus looks into hole in BOSS. As he peers in he can make out a figure].

Marcus: Oh my God, not you!

[Camera jerkily zooms in on Marcus's shocked face]

[Theme tune fades in]