Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings. Alden Bates is the owner. Random's the receptionist whilst Stephen is the Head Waiter. I'm Marcus Durham, the hotel manager, shareholder and general smooth charmer. David Lewis is playing Dai the gardener, and Alison will be taking the part of Miss Alison. Tina J Perrett owns a stake in the Motel. Dave Stone is the security guard and Chuck is the resturant manager. Also Peter Goddard is the big hatted Caledonian head chef. There's also an array of other wonderful characters who work at the motel.

If you enjoyed Crossroads, loved Triangle, adored Howards Way and are a Doctor Who fan you will love this soap. It stars the occupants of rec.arts.drwho and uk.media.tv.sf.drwho

Alden:....T...T...Tina!
Tina: Yes, I think you know who I am.
Alden: But your dead!
Tina: Or so you thought, or even hoped. Well I'm back and I
      want this Motel, lock, stock and barrel!
[Theme plays and fades out]

Alden: Oh, you "want" do you?
Tina: You know that you promised!
Alden: I don't remember anything. Besides, you forget Marcus. He owns
       30%. You are the minority shareholder.
Tina: Well I'm back. I bet you thought you had rid of me when you trapped
      me in that lunatic asylum.
Alden: Loony bin? Well that makes sense. Still, we thought you were
       dead. Mores the pity.
Tina: Pah, pathetic as ever Bates. I will speak to you later when you
      are in more sensible mood.

[Tina storms out slamming the door]

[Marcus is standing in the foyer as Tina walks in]

Tina: Marcus, I will see you in the bar at opening time.

[the intercom on the reception desk buzzes]

Random: Yes?
Alden [over the intercom]: Can you send for Marcus please.
Random [looking at Marcus]: Well, you heard.
Tina: That's right, go running to the idiot...Just remember where
      your loyalties lie for when I will be running this Motel!
      Hmmm, I think I will spend the morning in my new office.
Marcus: What new office?
Tina: The office that was yours up until two minutes ago when I
      decided that I wanted it.

[Tina walks off in the direction of what was Marcus's office]

[Marcus calls after her]

Marcus: That you very much. Do you want my car as well?
        My boat?.....[under his breath] Bitch.

[pause, then he turns around to face Random]

Marcus: Why are you taking notes?
Random: Oh, I thought I might learn something.
Marcus: My dear, even you couldn't be that bitter and twisted.

[Marcus walks off]

Random [under her breath]: Perhaps not. But I could be far more
         dangerous.

[Meanwhile, in the staff accommodation block, Jason is creeping about 
the corridor]

Jason: All these numbers. All these rooms. And only this little key
       to find my room with. This liddle tiny key.....Ah, room 7, now
       that sounds promising.

[Jason tries the door, it opens. He walks inside]

Jason: Ohh this little room is big.. Big big big. And it has lots
       of little round things on the liddle walls.. And a big computer
       thing in the middle. [He takes a swig from a small bottle
       concealed on his person]....Hang on a mo.

[He walks back out into the corridor]

Jason: The...the...the room is, like, big on the inside. But it cannot
       be big.

[Jason takes another swig]

Jason: I shall be as sick as a dog in the morning.

[Back in Aldens study, Marcus and Alden are talking]

Alden: What are we going to do?
Marcus: Leave her be. She wont stay long. She's all blum and duster.

[Alden looks at Marcus in an odd way]

[Marcus looks off-set, looks surprised and continues]

Marcus: She wont manage to carry out whatever she's been planning.
Alden: Eh...Oh yes. What are we going to do....No, leave her..bugger...
       Ah yes.....I wish I shared your optimism. But then, I have much 
       more to loose.
Marcus: Trust me, she'll be gone before the week is out.

[Meanwhile Tina is in what was Marcus's study. She picks up the phone
and dials]

Tina: Hello, restaurant? Send Chuck here this instant.....Yes, the foyer
      office.

[She puts the phone down. About a minute passes. There is a knock at the
door]

Tina: Enter.

[Chuck walks in and shuts the door]

Tina: Sit down....Now tell me what you have learned in the 3 months since 
      I put you here.

Chuck: Well, umm.

Tina: Get on with it. I employed you here as a spy in order to see what
      the management was up to. I even faked references for you so you
      could get a management job. I've laid it all down for you and all
      you had to do was keep your eyes open.

Chuck: Well, Alden's up to something...

Tina: You are useless! How am I supposed to undermine them when you are
      my eyes and ears?
Chuck: Um, there's more.
Tina: This had better be good!
Chuck: Marcus brought another boat.
Tina: GET OUT! 

[He leaves the room in a hurry and Tina throws a glass after him. 
It smashes against the door the moment Chuck shuts it behind him]

[In the foyer Random is talking on the phone]

Random: A convention of French teachers? 20 of them? Yes, I think we
        could manage. When? Next week. OK then fine. Good-bye.

[Random puts the phone down]

[Jason staggers in. He walks over to the desk]

Jason: I've just had a terrible shock.
Random: You do surprise me. Shouldn't you be on duty?
Jason: I went into this room. And it was bigger on the inside
       than it was on the outside.

[Random grabs Jason's jacket]

Random [in a threatening voice]: Where was this?
Jason: Let go!
Random: Tell me!!
Jason: Staff accommodation block room 7.
Random [louder]: You fool! You didn't touch anything?
Jason: No, no.
Random: [Very threatening voice] You didn't see that room. You
        don't mention it to anyone!
Jason: Why?
Random: Because nobody will believe you.....And if they do, you, and
        they will die!

[In the kitchen Alison is examining a pot of green stuff]

Alison [calls over]: Pete, what is this?
Pete: You'll leave that alone if you know what's good for you lassie!
Alison: Yes, but what is it?
Pete: You'll do well to mind your own business when you are in my
      kitchen.
Alison [screams]: Arrgghh! Its moving!
Pete: I told you to leave it alone. Now will you get out of my kitchen!

[In the bar Marcus is opening up. Tina walks in]

Tina: Why are you doing that?
Marcus: The barman isn't here and somebody has to open the bar.
Tina: Can I have a word?
Marcus: How about banana. Thats quite a nice word.
Tina: Fool. I wanted to ask about removing Alden.
Marcus: Go on.
Tina: If Alden were to meet with a...accident, his shares
      would go up for sale. Shares that we could buy.

[Several hours pass. It is 10PM at night, and all is peaceful in the
Motel. Alden is sitting at his desk working. Only Alden's desk lamp is 
lit. The rest of the office is dark. Suddenly someone opens the door. 
Alden looks up to see a dark figure standing in the doorway]

Alden: Who is that?

[The figure raise a hand]

Alden: What are you doing?

[The figure is holding a metallic object. It clicks]

Alden: Hello?

[ In the foyer Aidan is having a cup of tea. Suddenly three loud shots
ring out from the direction of Alden's study. Aidan spills his tea
everywhere. He runs towards Alden's study. He enters and turns the lights 
on. He sees a gun on the desk and Alden laying on the floor. He picks up 
the gun to examine it. Suddenly Chuck and Alison run in from behind]

Alison: What happened?

[Aidan turns around to face them. He is holding the gun]

Chuck: Oh my God, Aidan has shot Alden!

[Special Wings version of the theme music fades in]