Hello and welcome to the Bates Motel the West Midlands top source of quality board and lodgings. Alden Bates is the owner. Random's the receptionist whilst Stephen is the Head Waiter. I'm Marcus Durham, the hotel manager, shareholder and general smooth charmer. David Lewis is playing Dai the gardener, and Alison will be taking the part of Miss Alison. Tina J Perrett owns a stake in the Motel. Dave Stone is the security guard and Chuck is the resturant manager. Also Peter Goddard is the big hatted Caledonian head chef. There's also an array of other wonderful characters who work at the motel.

If you enjoyed Crossroads, loved Triangle, adored Howards Way and are a Doctor Who fan you will love this soap. It stars the occupants of rec.arts.drwho and uk.media.tv.sf.drwho

[Suddenly there is a final breaking sound. The bookcase shudders and a
large pink hand reaches through. The pink figure crashes through the
door brushing the bookcase to one side]

[Alden screams, Jason hides under the desk]

Chuck: By jingo! What is it?
Pink Figure: Blobby blobby blobby!!!!!!

[Theme music plays and then fades out]

Chuck: Everybody, get out of the room!
[All of them run outside and shut the door]

Alden: What now?
Chuck: We wait.
Alden: But it could wreck the Motel. Its evil I tell you, pure evil!
Chuck: How do you know?
Alden: It smashed the door down.....I tell you, its evil! Evil pure
       evil. More evil than a very evil thing. We should kill it this 
       instant!
Chuck: You want to try.

[Jason creeps of in the direction of the bar]

[Meanwhile the pink figure is sitting at Aldens desk humming to itself]

Pink Figure: Blobby blobby blobby......Blobby.....Blob blob blob

[Meanwhile in the corridor, Chuck and Alden are trying to work out what
to do]

[Marcus enters]

Marcus: What's up now?
Chuck: Theres a big pink thing sitting in Aldens study.
Marcus: So what's different about that?
Alden: For a start, Im not in there.
Marcus: Ahhhh, I see. Lets go and discuss it...Over a drink.

[Meanwhile in the bar Jason is serving]
[Marcus, Alden and Chuck enter]

Marcus: Umm, we'll have two Scotches and a Baby-Sham. And have one yourself.
Jason: Thanks.

[Jason reaches under the counter and takes a crafty swig from a bottle]

Alden: So what are we to do?
Chuck: We could shoot it?
Marcus: Don't be foolish, we don't know what it is.

[Jason places the drinks on the bar, he is muttering to himself]

Jason [pointing to a glass of Scotch and in a drunken voice]: Do you
       know.....
Chuck: Do we know what?
Jason: What did it do?
Chuck: What did what do?
Jason: This.

[Jason pulls out a bottle of Famous Grouse Whisky]

Jason: What did it do. Its a Grouse! Why's it famous?
Alden: Er, I don't know.
Jason [getting more drunk]: Waaz it a waterskier or somethhhhing?
Marcus: Er, Gentlemen, shall we sit down?

[The trio walk across the room and sit down]

Jason [Shouting across the room]: What did it doooooo????
Jason [to himself]: I shall be as sick as a dog in the morning.

[Jason collapses on the floor]

[Back in reception Random is trying to phone Alden]

Random: Why's he now answering.
 [Suddenly the phone is answered]

Random: Hello......Hello.....Hello.

[A voice suddenly sounds over the phone]

Voice: Blobby blobby blobby blob!
Random: Alden, is that you? Stop messing about.
Voice: Blobby! Phuuurzzzz!
Random: Right, that does it, Im going to come and sort you out Bates!

[Random storms off in the direction of Aldens office]

[Back in the bar Marcus, Alden and Chuck are discussing important
issues]

Chuck: Well, I don't drink Baby-Sham.
Marcus: Don't look at me, I only ordered them. It must be Alden.
Alden: Me, Baby-Sham? Don't touch the stuff.
Chuck: Well, if neither of us asked, but you ordered, logic suggests it 
       was you who wanted it.
Marcus: Ummm.....
Alden: They are the facts Marcus.
Marcus: Er, sorry, must have made a mistake. [Shouts] Barman! Another
Scotch please.

[Jason gurgles an acknowledgement from the floor]

[In the corridor Random is making her way towards Aldens study. She
bumps into Miss Alison]

Random: Where is everybody?
Alison: Well, last I saw, Alden, Marcus and Chuck were in the bar.
Random: How long have they been in there.
Alison: Well....10 minutes at least.
Random: In that case who phoned me?
[Suddenly a piece of scenery falls down, they both look around and then
carry on as if nothing had happened]
Alison: From where? Aldens study?
Random: Yes.

[Meanwhile outside Aidan has locked himself in Dai's shed, Dai is
knocking on the door]

Dai: Let me in boyo!
Aidan: No, no, how do I know its you.
Dai: Because I say so, that's why. Anyway, why are you hiding in there?
Aidan: Because a terrible force has been unleashed inside the motel!
Dai: Well, I always said they should keep her locked up in a cage. Its 
     for her own safety.
Aidan: Not Random you fool!
Dai: Look, its very hard to be holding a conversation from the otherside
     of a door. Will you let me in?
Aidan: Oh, OK.

[Aidan lets Dai in and the bolts the door]

Dai: Now what is it.
Aidan: Well I didn't stay to find out, but it looks like some sort 
       of pan-dimensional polymorph. 
Dai: Is that good?
Aidan: No it isnt. Its an evil being that will try and take over our
       minds by any means possible.  So to blend into this world it finds 
       an object and then it takes on a form related to it. This is so it
       doesn't look out of place in this environment.
Dai: And what form has it taken on?
Aidan: Well I cant be sure. But I left a Mr Blobby CD on the cloning
       machine.
Dai: Meaning?
Aidan: Well, I think its taken on the form of Mr Blobby. Except it will
       be hundreds of times more powerful and infinitely more evil!
Dai: Oh no boyo, this is bad news isnt it?
Aidan: And theres no way we can stop it!

[In the corridor, Random and Alison are standing outside Aldens study]

Random: I'll peak through the keyhole.
Alison: What can you see.
Random: Well......it looks like....Mr Blobby!....Hang on, its eyes are
        glowing red! And there's a distinct lack of that usual stupid
        smile. Hang on, Mr Blobby with red eyes and a scowl! Thats not
        right.....Quick, its moving towards the door. Run for it.

[Alison and Random run, meanwhile Stephen approaches the door and knocks
on it. He then enters]

Stephen: [Looking at Mr Blobby rapidly coming towards him] Cripes!

[Before he can take any action Stephen is grabbed by Mr Blobby and is 
dragged into the study screaming]

[Episode ends with the door shutting and painful screaming coming 
from within the study]

Stephen: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh..........

[Special Paul McCartney Wings version of the theme music fades in]