From: William December Starr <wdstarr@panix.com>
Subject: ADRICS 2000: Special Honourary Award for Just Knowing So Damned Much
Date: Tuesday, 9 May 2000 10:48

In article <391757AF.4E194996@home.com>,
the_chocolate_snark@my-deja.com said:

> ...on the whole, the perfect choice to deliver the Special Honorary
> Award For Just Knowing So Much Damned Stuff, and I am certain myself
> that he is more than up to this task...May I present...drum roll,
> please...William...December...Staaaarrrrrrrr!!!

[Alex Cord, as Michael Coldsmith "Archangel" Briggs III from "Airwolf"
(1984-1986), walks out on stage.  He looks real cool.  He speaks.]

WDSTARR: Hi, it's me.  I don't really look much like this in real life at
all, but hey, this is virtual reality so I can look real cool if I want
to.  Besides, see where one of my eyeglass lenses is blacked out, because
Archangel lost an eye in the "Airwolf" pilot?  Well, it makes a great
excuse for a nifty little heads-up computer display.  I could be reading
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.nyssa right now and you wouldn't even know
it!

[Pause.]

WDSTARR: Okay, um, maybe you _would_ know it.  Ahem.  Anyway, I'm here
to present the Special Honourary Award for Just Knowing So Much Damned
Stuff.  The winner probably already knows he's won, heh heh (CHEKHOV: "I
was making a little joke."  SPOCK: "Extremely little, Mr. Chekhov."),
but for the rest of us... the nominees, in alphabetical order unless I
screwed up, are:

    Richard Bignell
    Jon Blum
    David Brunt
    Finn Clark
    Benjamin F. Elliott
    Peter Finklestone
    David J. Howe
    Ed Jefferson
    Shaun Lyon
    Richard Molesworth
    Lance Parkin
    Mark Phippen
    Steve Roberts
    Allen Robinson
    Snarky
    Shannon Patrick Sullivan
    Paul Vanezis (militant-stork)

In order to save time and spare the feelings of those who ended up in
the, well, let's say the 'lower tier' of the balloting -- hell, let's
face it, I just want to do less typing -- I'll just announce the top four
runners up and the winner.  Any nominee not listed can pretend that he
only missed out on the big time by *that* much, even if he actually came
in 17th.

Fourth Runner-Up: Lance Parkin
Third Runner-Up: Jon Blum
Second Runner-Up: David J. Howe
First Runner-Up: David Brunt

And, probably to the surprise of no one, the Winner of the Special
Honourary Award for Just Knowing So Much Damned Stuff is... Mr. Steve
Roberts!  Yay!

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more, um, alt.literary.pmagrs
to read through.  Um, yeah, that's it...

[Archangel turns to leave and strides confidently off the stage and right
into the orchestra pit.]

WDSTARR: (dazedly)  Meant to do that...

-- William December Starr <wdstarr@panix.com>
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