From: Hte Trasme Subject: Re: ADRICS 2000: Best Comedy Long Fiction Date: Tuesday, 9 May 2000 8:22 SNARKY: And now, presenting the David Shariff Yadallee Award for Internet Cluelessness, HTE TRASME! (HTE TRASME walks onstage. He is wearing an expensive suit and his Beard of Evil is nicely trimmed.) HTE TRASME: Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and Keith Brooks. I am, as you know, here to present the Dave Yadallee Award for Net.Cluelessness… (YADS runs onstage) YADS: YIKES! I am NOT net cluless! YOu try running your own ISP! HTE TRASME : Well, erm, that’s just it’s name… YADS: Would NOT like to bet on Oscars acting abilty. TRASME: Besides, you only came in 6th place. (YADS sits down) TRASME: As I was saying, some RADWers know more about…. (PS WHISTON runs onstage) WHISTON: are you insulting jack nicholons acting ability TRASME: Of course not. He was quite good in… WHISTON: don’t try to impres me with names of movies cause I have a degree in media trivia TRASME: All right, Dr. Whiston, but I do have an award to present. (WHISTON sits) TRASME: Now we can finally find out who gets the silver bowl for… WAXVAX: (Yelling out from audience) No it was a GOLD bowl! TRASME: All right! If there are no death threats, I…. (A shot whistles by TRASME’s head) TRASME: Whoever that was, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t shoot guns at people in the theatre. (DANGERMOUSE leaves in a huff) TRASME: Now that that’s finished, is anyone else trying to kill me? (DBURNS walks onstage. He is pointing a killfile at TRASME) BURNS: What do you think of the McCoy era? TRASME: Well, I thought that… (notices killfile) …it was wretched. I, erm, loathed every minute of it. (BURNS leaves with a satisfied smile) TRASME: Think back to when you first found RADW. "Wow!" you probably thought, "a Dr. Who message board!" You probably lurked for a while, getting a feel for what RADW was like, and how you were supposed to behave on newsgroups. We’re not here to talk about you. These people jumped right in, ignoring every rule of usenet. The 4th runner up left at the end of last year. Some say his spirit is still with RADW. Some say his other e-mail address is still with RADW. The 4th runner up is…. Henry "Azaxyr" Vizi! AZAXYR: Thank you, McCoy hating Christians. (AZAXYR runs offstage after RADWers start throwing bowling balls at him.) AUDIENCE: Get on with it! HTE TRASME: Fine, fine! The winner of the Yadallee Award is the author of some of the worst Who fiction ever. AUDIENCE: Paul Magrs? HTE TRASME: No, I'll give a hint. Some RADWers think he's a minor. AUDIENCE: Keith Brookes? TRASME; No, you morons! J2RIDER! == Hte Trasme "Then the water did descend on the men in the boats, Which wet their trousers and also their coats; But it only made them the more determined to catch the whale, But the whale shook at them his tail." William Topaz McGonagall