From: Adam Richards Subject: Re: ADRICs!!! Bitch of the Year Award - the Time Has Come! Look upon me ye mortals, and despair! Date: Thursday, 18 May 2000 7:26 On Wed, 17 May 2000 18:31:01 +0100, "Andrew J. Brook" wrote: >The ADRIC Award 2000 for Bitch of the Year 1999 goes to > >- and does he deserve it? Not 'alf! - > >the one and only > >Mister Adam Richards! Give him a big hand, folks! > >(Spontaneous applause. The winner, despondent rather than resplendent in >choice of attire, drags his/her/other feet as he/she/it/nominative singular >noun/delete as applicable/if you can read this I forgot to save before I posted >approaches the podium.) ....and sticks his foot out, tripping Andrew up as he retreats. Andrew nearly falls on his face, but recovers just in time - he turns on Adam, they both glare and hiss at each other; the audience gasps! >A special message from the organiser to the winner - the Snark offers these >words of congratulation: "Mine, next year, I tell you!!!" Sharpen yer claws Snark - you're on. >(The unfortunate winner reaches the podium) And addresses the even less fortunate group... >Ladies and gentlemen and miscellaneous: Adam Richards. Thank you, sweetie, thank you thank you... Now fuck off. (ribald laughter) Awww, I'm sorry... Give Andrew a big hand! (audience cheers and applauds as Andrew mopes to the rear of the stage) I sincerely wish him well... A deep one, with spikes at the bottom! (more laughter). But I digress.... >(The winner takes hold of a golden statuette of shame, a bottle of brandy of >consolement, and a microphone of speaking with which to make an acceptance >speech >should he/she/it/etc. wish) Well people, I won! And I predicted it. Proving that this group is nothing if not totally predictable, ha ha! (the mortally offended audience gasps!) >Thank you, and goodnight! You're welcome. Next time I shall not be so lenient! (Adam leaves the stage to a fanfare; the audience all whisper and "tut" to each other disapprovingly muttering, "What a bitch!", etc., shaking their heads...) ====================================================== Adam Richards Adam@roblang.demon.co.uk