From: St. Alicia Erisdaughter{NightMist} Subject: back in Black "drwho Awards" Date: Sunday, 25 June 2000 17:01 On Fri, 23 Jun 2000 21:27:25 GMT, "Snarky!" wrote: >SNARKY when suddenly a rumbling from the depths beneath the stage begins, a >rumbling that gradually grows louder, until finally it is obvious >something is rising up; a loud creaking of gears signals the opening of >slats on the floor of the stage; and at last it is clear what the >rumbling is about -- the emcee is returning to the stage! And with a few >final rumbles, the emcee rises into view>: ...193 days to the conclusion >of the second millennium A.D...Now that it appears the esteemed Mr. >Woodhams has decided we're not worthy of his time or attention, I have >decided to allow another the opportunity to present the RADW Babe of the >Year -- and it won't be Chris Rednour, or Ed Jefferson, or Si Jerram -- >in fact, it won't be _any_ of radw's regulars, but rather, a stalwart >from the Legion of Dynamic Discord, one who has actually posted in radw >a few times, though mainly in cross-posts, and is also a lurker on >adwc...May I introduce to you all...the Goddess of the Night, the >Mistress of the incredibly sexy St. Alicia, the Official test witch for >law of three research, the Queen of the underground FLAX cartel, and the >Official Carnifex of the Evil Daughters of Eris cabal -- yes, you >guessed it! -- (drum roll, please)... NIGHTMIST!!!.... > >-- The Godess of the Night comes strolling out onto the stage quite non-chalantly as the bombs burst in mid-air and the cabbages fly. Dressed in a cross between high leather and high goth, she looks like her wardrober mugged Morpheus from the Matrix and the Black Queen from Marvel comics. Leading the succulent St Alicia on a leash she approaches th podium all smiles, as St Alicia bobs and weaves to miss the amazeing quantities of ordinance and old vegetables filling the air. "Wow, hey, like it is just so cool to be standing before you. May I suggest that if you don't quit flinging cabbages at me, I am going to have to start flinging golden apples at you. You just don't want to go there when we are presenting the Babe of the Year award" "Now then" *folds hands and looks slightly pompous* "What is the signifigance of The Babe o'the Year award? Easy! She who has inspired drool in those of us who dig chicks. Natch, I am really surprised you had to ask. We have a whole bunch of runners up, whom I have had conveniently gift wrapped. Until Snarky told me I couldn't do that and untied them." *pouts* OK so here goes. *NightMist rummages around in St Alicia's pants for the envelope* An errant whisper reaches the microphone: "oooooo......but Mistress, you told me to keep it safemmmmmmmmm" *NightMist finally retrieves the envelope and wonks St Alicia on the head with it, eliciting a purr from that naughty girl and slightly crumpleing the envelope* "OK, now to find out who is what in the drool catagory, at least a month or so ago." "The runner ups, in no particular order and taking into account acouple of ties, are: Bernice Tomka and Michell (meaningful sig file? naaah get stuffed)Wauchope *a brief flicker flies across the stage, and the audience starts to settle down, realizeing that they are not going to get a good look at women fleeing in terror* Karen Inskip Erica Susan Denim These three brave lassies try doing their best Miss Universe come hither wave and stroll, but an undetonated bomb goes off as theystroll across the stage, causeing them to run like hell. Karen Baldwin Sue /PVC Diva Mariane Desautels These three are taking no chances and simply flee as soon as Snarky lets them go. Mags Halliday Kate Orman Erin Tumilty As the last 3 runner-ups run across the stage as fast as they can, NightMist can be seen engageing in a tug of war with the rest of the list and St Alicia. St Alicia can be heard demanding"I want to hide it again, It's myyyy tuuuuurn." NightMist clings to the half of the list left to her and proceeds onto The last 5 Babes. OK 4th runner-up! She was absolutely stunning in skin tight latex till Snarky gave her that Dorothy in OZ blue and white thing, I give you Gillian Walker *NightMist watches in disgust as Ms Walker's flounces flounce across the stage* Our third runner up, a Lady who just makes you want to lick her thesaurus Susannah Tiller Our second runner up A wonderful woman who makes you think of all the wholesome things in life, whether you like it or not. Helen Fayle And now we are down to the final 2, who will be first runner up, entitled to take over for the title winner in case for some reason she cannot fullfill the obligations of her title, and in her own right winning 600 cases of Coppertone suntan lotion, a 4 pack of gatorade and a complete collection of Yanni's greatest hits. But first, this brief musical interlude from the Lettermen. *music starts, and then stops again quite abruptly as a small warhead takes out the artists formerly known as The Lettermen* "Oh hey now! You didn't have to atomize them you know! All right then, we'll just carry on and Get It Over With. Good heavens have you no sense of art? No sense of if it's worth doing it's worth blowing the deadline? I wanted to dress them all as companions chamois bikinis nd all, but noooooooooo, we had to be conservative, we had to be tasteful. The number one runner up Rec.arts.drwho babe of the year is *drumroll* Innocet! And that means that our winner is: Karen Jo - Nyctolops And Nycyolops our winner,care to come and say a word or two? *NightMist grabs St Alicia by the leash and starts dragging her off, then stops, scans the audience and gets out a lasso.* I warned Snarky I might do this, better watch out ladies, here I come! *The lasso swings once twice thrice Four times before it sails out over the crowd, To settle over the shoulders of a small geeky looking fellow with popcorn in his teeth* Uhhh William? like, your a guy and some stuff. NightMist Goddess of the Night Mistress of the incredibly sexy St Alicia Official test witch for law of three research Queen of the underground FLAX cartel Official Carnifex of the Evil Daughters of Eris cabal www.mp3.com/ankoutechnica